Get Some Sleep--Part Two

Okay, so no hate mail...yet. Mostly I was either ignored or politely referenced. You can read the whole exchange here. But in case you don't want to mess with it, here is a portion:

mommyof_2_Bs_1H (That's me...I couldn't come up with anything better) -- From day 1 you use babywise? And that's when you use CIO?

As the crazy lady that's done crazy things to get a sleeping baby, I'm always interested in new methods. What's the gist of Babywise?

My problem with my kiddos is that they DON'T put themselves to sleep. Doesn't matter how drowsy or sleepy or ready to sleep they are, they don't put themselves to sleep. I figure that most sleep training won't work until they're older and can CIO since they can't fall asleep on their own.

P.S. My son is sleeping right now in the bouncy seat in the master bath with the fan on, just like his sister did. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! (But at least I didn't have to nurse him while hunched over the bouncy trying to balance--knock on wood. . .)

Here's my response:

Kris~ I use it from about the second week. Before that they sleep almost 24-7 anyway and I'm lucky to get my teeth brushed. The gist of Babywise is Parent Directed Feeding, or PDF. Basically that just means you start parenting right away...you don't demand feed but you also don't go strictly by the clock. If you're baby is hungry, obviously feed them, but don't just assume that every time they make a noise they are hungry. Also, you make sure they don't just snack. This is especially true for breastfed babies. You know how they fall asleep after like 5 minutes? Well, you try to keep them awake by getting them naked or rubbing their feet or whatever. If they get a "full" feeding you are almost guaranteed that they will sleep well. However, you don't put them down right after they eat. You keep them awake for a period of time. For a newborn this is like 2 minutes. For an older baby it's longer. So, at first your whole day revolves around 2 1/2 or 3 hour cycles. Feed, wake, sleep. Right now my baby is 3 and a half months old. She wakes up, I feed her and she's up for about an hour and a half (including feeding time). Then I lay her down and she sleeps for about an hour and a half. Sometimes longer. But she's the 3rd kid so we are always running around. There are lots of times she falls asleep in her car seat and that's fine. I'll just try to get home so she can take her next nap in bed. It's actually very flexible, but you are in a routine, too. So, with a clock fed baby there is just no room for any flexibility. With a demand fed baby there is no room for routine. Dr. Ezzo describes it as a rubber band. When you pull a rubber band it is able to stretch, but it always goes back to it's original shape. In other words, for flexibility to exist, there has to be a routine, or something to flex back to.

But yes, sometimes this process involves crying it out. Like I said earlier, the most I'd let a little baby cry is 15 minutes. But if they are fed, changed, burped and you know nothing is wrong with them, then a little bit of crying can actually be good for them. It's the only way they have to relieve stress. The only way they have to "vent". And I think being a little helpless infant would be stressful!

There's nothing better than a happy baby. And one of the only ways, in my opinion, to have a happy baby is to have one that gets plenty of sleep. The other way to have a happy baby is to have a mama that is relaxed and getting enough sleep. Sure, this varies. We don't need 12 hours of sleep (can you imagine!?), but a consecutive 5 makes you feel like a new woman! It's also really nice to get your baby on a semi-routine so that you can get on with life. You can go out to lunch with friends or to a play group without being worried how long your baby will sleep or what hoops you'll have to jump through to get them to sleep at all. My guess is there is not a master bath, bouncy seat, or exhaust fan at your local restaurant. I'm sure that there are lots of sleep methods out there that work. Babywise just happened to work well for us.